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Checklist · paperwork

The paperwork nobody warns you about

Accounts, subscriptions, the phone plan, the mail. A checklist you can do in ten-minute pieces, because that's what you have.

Nobody warns you that grief comes with admin. Accounts, subscriptions, the phone plan, the mail that keeps arriving in their name like a small cruelty. You don't have to do it all, and you don't have to do it now. Ten-minute pieces, because that's what you have.

Can wait indefinitely

  • Their clothes and things - 'not yet' is a real answer for as long as you need it
  • Social media accounts (memorialize or close later; there's no deadline)
  • The voicemail greeting - many people keep it on purpose

Ten-minute pieces, when you can

  • One subscription cancelled per sitting - never the whole list at once
  • Mail: one 'return to sender' pile by the door, emptied weekly
  • The phone plan: ask for a bereavement transfer, not a cancellation - you may want the number
  • A single folder (paper or photos on your phone) where every document lands, unsorted. Sorting is a later problem

Worth asking someone else to do

  • Calls to companies that will make you repeat the death over and over
  • Anything involving hold music and the sentence 'I'm calling because my person died'

Every cancelled subscription can feel like erasing them a little. It isn't. The paperwork was never where they lived.

Written from lived grief, not from a clinic - this whole place is peer support, not therapy. If today is heavier than a page can help with, the support lines have humans on them, at every hour.