Skip to today's page
Resources

Checklist · making the calls

Scripts for the calls you're dreading

Word-for-word lines for telling people, cancelling their appointments, and ending conversations you don't have the strength for.

Telling people is a job nobody applies for. Every call spends something, and the words won't come out right because there are no right words. So take these - word for word, edited to fit, or handed to someone else to say for you.

Telling family and friends

  • "I have hard news and I'm just going to say it: Dad died this morning. I can't talk long, but I wanted you to hear it from me."
  • For the ones who'll have questions you can't face: "I'll share more when I can. Right now I just needed you to know."
  • By text, when a call is beyond you (it's allowed): "This is easier for me to write than say. Mum died on Tuesday. I'm okay-ish and I'll call when I'm able. No need to reply with anything big."

The admin calls

  • "I'm calling because my husband died and I need to close his account. I have his details ready. I'd appreciate keeping this brief."
  • When they transfer you again: "I've now told three people my wife died. Please put a note on the file so I don't have to keep saying it."

Ending any conversation

  • "I'm going to go now - thank you for the kind words."
  • "I can't talk about this today. I'll be in touch when I can."
  • Hanging up, walking away, not answering at all: also complete sentences

Written from lived grief, not from a clinic - this whole place is peer support, not therapy. If today is heavier than a page can help with, the support lines have humans on them, at every hour.